Meditation - A Loaded Word
Meditation is simply sitting with yourself. That’s it. Don’t over complicate it.
How many times have you thought “I will give this meditation lark a go” and after sitting in frustration from moments to minutes the judgement creeps in and the decision is made. I can’t do this. Why can’t I let my thoughts go? Other people can? Maybe this meditation thing is just not for me.
The Offer
Anytime you can set aside to go inside is a win it does not matter what you call it. Don’t have any expectations. Just come to it in peace and curiosity.
Sure, the positive affect of mediation is now well documented and science has very firmly planted itself fairly and squarely at the centre of the party. It is a very exciting time and will it be wonderful to watch the dance between old traditional wisdom and new frontier science. However, that said you do not need to know everything about mediation to “get it” you just need to begin.
Today’s experience keeps us in flight or fight, we hold our breath, we even forget to breath, we have stopped listening to ourselves. Meditation will allow you some space, breadth and depth to move past your thinking mind and achieve clarity. Remember just because you think it doesn’t make it true. There are so many types of meditations and all quite exquisite in their own way waiting for you.
Did you ride your bike perfectly first time? Did you understand the physics of motion, speed, velocity at 3? No.
Consider this, our minds are filled with thoughts. All day every day. As Shrek would say “Onions have layers Donkey”. Firstly, get over yourself. Stop judging. Start by ask yourself what is your intention by devoting your precious time to do this? After all there are plenty of other things to spend your time on right? Get clear.
OK so we know enlightened masters spent days, weeks even years of their lives exploring the human boundaries of body and mind through meditation. Yoga postures were originally created to assist the body in finding a comfortable seat during meditation. Forgive yourself for not coming to this with the wisdom of a sage or the body of a practiced Yogi. You are just a beginner.
I would like to propose some suggestions to reframe Meditation for you. A “way in” if you like.
Change the Word
So it doesn’t feel so heavy and overwhelming. The word Meditation is everywhere these days and it is easy to fall under its spell. It almost has a cult status. You are either a meditator or you are not (rubbish). People fail before they begin. Let’s reframe the concept. I suggest you create your own word for it. MeTime, Spaciousness Practice, Soulful Drifting, Mental Floating you get the gist. Me, I call my practice “Momentfulness”. The word sounds so romantically illusive. It is hard to rush the word. I love the images and feelings it conjures up for me, half the job is done. It is not largely used so I find it is more personal to me. My “momentful” practice. Play around with your word. Making your own name for the practice makes it more personal to you. Your practice.
Start Small
One minute, five minutes, ten? You choose. The more you sit with yourself the more you will begin to sense into what your body needs. One minute is better than nothing. Baby steps.
Make it lightweight or something you enjoy doing. A meditation might be reading a poem. It can be listening to your favourite relaxing music, or yoga mantra in the background. It may be that creative endeavour where you lose time and space. It may be a guided meditation where you are led. It may simply be sitting in silence. That’s not easy! Practice, practice, practice.
Finding your comfortable seat is key
Often sitting still can be a challenge all by itself. You can walk and meditate at the same time – eyes open of course! You can sit on your couch, on your mat, on a pillow, on one leg it really doesn’t matter.
This is my daily practice
In the early morning when all are sleeping I journey on to my bolster and sit cross-legged on my mat. The bolster gives me an elevated seat and more room for my hips. I place my palms face up on my knees in an attitude of giving and ask how I might serve today. What might you ask?
I take a couple of deep breaths (* breathing that has a slightly longer exhale will calm your parasympathetic nervous system, helping you relax and restore*). It allows me to contemplate my body, its rhythms, my organs and systems working beautifully for me all day and night without any awareness from me (what a fabulous employee!). A nod to the hard work that happens on my behalf. By giving your actions meaning it helps build your relationship with your practice.
I roll my shoulders up to my ears and backwards a couple of times. Feel how tight I am, hear a few unwelcome noises and then reverse the shoulders forward. Then I come to relax my shoulders and slide my shoulder blades down towards my spine. Shoulders can’t help but widen my front space opening my heart. Spine as straight as you can without any pressure or tension. Then relax in. Only stay as long as you are comfortable it will get easier with time.
I practice Integrated Meditation which involves the use of a mantra unique to you, handed down verbally by your teacher from their teacher, similar to Transcendental Meditation. The word has no meaning in what we consider the real world so there is no attachment in your mind to anything when you repeat it. Mantras (another commonly used word) is a vibration, a sound. You practice twice daily. 20 minutes morning and night. A do-able request. It is frankly the meditation for people living in the fast paced modern world with little time.
Props
You don’t need any. Don’t get caught up in buying “stuff” it really is not necessary. We do this to enable us to go inside. It doesn’t matter what goes on outside does it? However, for those of us who enjoy a little ritual it is nice to light a candle or incense, play music or sit in nature now it is warming up. The objective is that “your practice” can be done anywhere, at any time and you will start to get good at grabbing 5 mins in an Uber or whilst waiting to pick up a pesky kid from sport. There are no rules only the ones you set.
Get your kids involved
This kind of practice will serve your children so get them in on the act. Children are exposed to so much more than we had to worry about, social media, climate change, navigating what is real news, where to find reliable sources, peer pressure, menacing illicit substances, under slept and over exposed to screens at night affecting their circadian rhythm. For my daughters 16th birthday we gifted her a Meditation Course hoping to give her some tools in the tool kit, but remember there are all sorts of meditation tools and courses and apps out there.
When my kiddies were little we had a lot of fun reading this particular meditation book before bed. They are a bit short but I just added on to them myself. It was a wonderful way to let their imagination wander. I have such fond memories of this book it will be passed on to their children hopefully one day. Now there are so many to chose from try not to get overwhelmed!
So then . . .
Find out what works for you, your lifestyle and budget. It doesn’t have to cost anything. Giving our kids the tools for a healthy mind and body will set them up for life. Even if they don't realise it now. Let them see the potential of themselves in you.
So now you get it. The point is just do it, do something with yourself, by yourself or with others. Walk, sit, stand. Relax and let your autonomic nervous system take over. Tell yourself it is safe to do this. When you are completely safe your body will relax.
The wisdom of your body cannot be comprehended by your mind. Please contact me if you would like more resources or delve a little deeper into your inner world!
Some useful resources:
As you know I am super excited by Neuroscience and the potential of learning more about our mind and body. My resource offerings will contain a mixture of yogic wisdom, scientific facts, psychodynamic perspectives all options to expand your thinking.
Joe Dispenza. I am a fan of his work - full disclosure! I was lucky enough to attend his 7 day Advanced Workshop in 2019 in Queensland. His work spans neuroscience, epigenetics, quantum physics and understanding metacognition and how to be whole. If, like me, you like better understand why you are doing something Joe will explain what and why he wants you to experience and then take you through a meditation.
Google anything you can and you will learn something. Here is a taster you will have to go to his website to download a full meditation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpOMk1jOzgk
https://drjoedispenza.com/
Rick Hanson, leading Psychologist on finding the good within and free mediations
https://www.rickhanson.net/practices-for-growing-an-unshakable-core/
Integrated Meditation: My personal practice as a student of The Broad Place with Jaqui Lewis. A beautiful soul based practice always eloquently explained. https://www.facebook.com/dailytelegraph/videos/789781211551308/?v=789781211551308
https://thebroadplace.com/integrated-meditation/
https://positivepsychology.com/differences-between-mindfulness-meditation/
https://www.headspace.com/meditation/techniques
Smiling Mind https://www.smilingmind.com.au/